You made me cry and you don't even care
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
i out mim tonsoeep
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
