I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Randomize