I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
ugly people sure do ruin things
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
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