I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
