A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
