grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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