I wish you could order shots online.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
