if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
