Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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