Dual....:-)
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
