if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
