me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize