Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
