She is in my trunk
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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