is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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