i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
