Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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