Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
