what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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