i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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