my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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