Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
