He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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