Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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