I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
