Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Congratulations! We have a period
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