): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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