sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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