vagina is talking i cant
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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