You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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