Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
