Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
