I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
