Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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