I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
