I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Thank you for not boning my boss.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
