Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
