Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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