I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
