don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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