so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
