Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
