Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
