Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize