I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
