So drunk its hurt
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My feet surprised me
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