Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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