I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
