The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
