well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
