I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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