he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
