no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
