the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
