i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
