is your mom at the bar?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
