It's like God shit irony all over that family
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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