So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
