afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
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He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
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This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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