hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
