Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
