I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize