I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
