What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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