You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
